Spotify really does an incredible job of documenting their users individual listening activity. It’s something that I look forward to as the end of the year approaches, even if it really doesn’t end up with too many surprises (top artist was My Chemical Romance, and the songs on the playlist that I listen to when I’m feeling calm or trying to fall asleep were my top played), there were a few songs that in my opinion stood out, regardless of their position on my Spotify statistics for the year. These songs were selected based on their impact on me this year, and I’ve chosen to highlight three of the most important.
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555 by Jimmy Eat World
Released in October, Surviving by Jimmy Eat World is one of my favorite albums of the year, but that will get its own post. I want to specifically draw attention to the track 555. The lyrics of the song are incredibly relatable to me and how my mental state has been this fall.
I keep my focus on the simple things
Trying to find some peace along the way
Wish I knew how long I'm supposed to wait
Holding on but just barely
It reflects the feelings of going through the motions of life, but waiting for life to feel like something more.
I'm doing the things that I'm told every day, every day, every day
Then why does it feel like I'm moving in place, in place, in place?
Feeling like I’m moving in place, going nowhere fast, is how I spent most of my summer and fall, doing the things that people say will make you feel better, like exercising or getting enough sleep, but none of it really working.
All you fought through, all you had to face
Made you stronger, unafraid
In the last year or so I have been told that I’m very brave to do the things I do. Running a marathon, going to concerts, all that, but I never really felt brave per se, more unafraid of the consequences.
The song lyrically doesn’t feel like the most uplifting song, it’s performed in a way that leaves me feeling like there’s hope that peace might be found in the simple things.
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I Think I’m OKAY by Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD, and Travis Barker
I have to give credit to my friend Jennifer for recommending this song to me back at the beginning of the summer. I saw MGK open for Fall Out Boy last year and honestly, it was ok, but I wasn’t there for it. But when she told me she thought I’d like this song, it really hit like a load of bricks.
No sleep, up all week, wasting time with people I don't like
I think something's fucking wrong with me
Again, this hit at the exact moment when I was feeling frustrated with friends and yet I couldn’t cut ties and kept spending time with them even though I would often leave feeling hurt, embarrassed, and frustrated.
Find me alone at midnight (Goodnight)
Inside my mind, tryna get things right (Goodnight)
A lot of this song is about throwing away good things and wasting your time and energy on things that don’t make you feel any better, and being wrapped up in your thoughts. It’s easy to get in a cycle of negative thinking and this song easily captures that.
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Special by Simple Creatures
One thing that surprised me on my Spotify end of the year statistics is that this song was not higher. There were quite a few occasions when I put this song on repeat and just let it play and play. In fact if 555 hadn’t been released this year, I think this song would have been my top song this year.
I just wanna feel good
I wanna feel special
Dig down
Underneath the pressure
I wanna fake my pain away (Fake my pain away)
I wanna fake my pain away
I just wanna feel good
I wanna feel special
When the hell is it gonna get better?
This song, similar to the other two favorites of this year, has a theme related to mental well being and feelings of depression and trying to deal with that. Obviously it’s a theme that ran through my life this year, and I’m grateful that there were songs released that reflect the things I was struggling with as well.
The rest of my top songs are in no particular order, as they are all significant to me and worthy of recognition:
Surviving - Jimmy Eat World
Bob Dylan - Fall Out Boy
I’ve Been Waiting - Lil Peep, ILOVEMAKONEN, Fall Out Boy
Glimmer - Marianas Trench
The Killing Kind - Marianas Trench
Young and Doomed - Frank Iero and the Future Violents
Novocaine - The Unlikely Candidates
The Death of Me - PVRIS
Nightmare - Halsey
Get Back Up - Emarosa
Givin’ Up - Emarosa
bad guy - Billie Eilish
you should see me in a crown - Billie Eilish
Way Down - The Dangerous Summer
Back Foot - Dinosaur Pile-Up
I Really Wish I Hated You - blink-182
Apologize - grandson
Oh No!!! - grandson
False Got - Taylor Swift
Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince - Taylor Swift
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